As a grownup, everything has such a feeling of permanency. Change feels less possible, whereas when I was a kid change was always expected as a matter of course. I would move to the next grade in school with a new teacher and new kids. I'd get taller, I'd lose teeth, new teeth I'd never met before would grow in and I'd be stuck with them... Now, things feel more difficult to change. So much has to just be dealt with and endured, that I forget I might have the power to change something.
Being a grownup is also hard because suddenly everyone expects you to be boring. You aren't supposed to have an imagination anymore. You are automatically assumed to like beige and want beige. Most of the lamps I like are for children. -.- If someone wants a little color, why does that make them juvenile? Odd. It's like grownup-hood wants everything to be muted. Less happy music, colors, clothes, hair... It's responsible time and looking that way
apparently means less femininity, less joy, just less...
BUT, if there's anything I learned from Frankie (meaning Frank Sinatra, OF COURSE) is that the key to enjoying grownup-hood is to be young at heart. ;) So, that's what I try to do. I don't shop in the Juniors' section, though. xD Chubbiness helped me make sure I stopped that before 30. And also, just choosing to enjoy grownup-hood is important. Choice. Right now, it's hard not to HATE everything. I hate my body, hate my situation as some pathetic chubby person that stays home all day because she has nothing else in her life, hate the withdrawals from the meds and that I was ever gullible enough to think they'd help me... But, there's no point in letting myself sit here and hate. It's not going to change anything or help anything. So, I think I make a pretty cute chubby lady. And, hey, I can do whatever I want! Nothing's hemming me in, I can try cooking classes, photo classes, running, making cloud shapes, carpentry, painting, acrobatics. Anything! If I want to dance to Sir Mixalot all day, more power to me. (But, my poor neighbors. Hahaha.)
The thing that makes anything hard or easy is simply perspective.
Being a grownup is also hard because suddenly everyone expects you to be boring. You aren't supposed to have an imagination anymore. You are automatically assumed to like beige and want beige. Most of the lamps I like are for children. -.- If someone wants a little color, why does that make them juvenile? Odd. It's like grownup-hood wants everything to be muted. Less happy music, colors, clothes, hair... It's responsible time and looking that way
apparently means less femininity, less joy, just less...BUT, if there's anything I learned from Frankie (meaning Frank Sinatra, OF COURSE) is that the key to enjoying grownup-hood is to be young at heart. ;) So, that's what I try to do. I don't shop in the Juniors' section, though. xD Chubbiness helped me make sure I stopped that before 30. And also, just choosing to enjoy grownup-hood is important. Choice. Right now, it's hard not to HATE everything. I hate my body, hate my situation as some pathetic chubby person that stays home all day because she has nothing else in her life, hate the withdrawals from the meds and that I was ever gullible enough to think they'd help me... But, there's no point in letting myself sit here and hate. It's not going to change anything or help anything. So, I think I make a pretty cute chubby lady. And, hey, I can do whatever I want! Nothing's hemming me in, I can try cooking classes, photo classes, running, making cloud shapes, carpentry, painting, acrobatics. Anything! If I want to dance to Sir Mixalot all day, more power to me. (But, my poor neighbors. Hahaha.)
The thing that makes anything hard or easy is simply perspective.
1 comment:
You surely don't do nothing. You write the most creative and interesting posts on your blog and you are always there to give me the best advice I could ever ask for. You're the older sister I never had growing up. You are the best mom to your two kitties. Staying home does not mean you do nothing. Ever. Hugs from Utah.
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