Little Changes

My dreams have been extra vivid lately.  When I woke up I was able to draw out the floor plan for the house from my dream... so I did for kicks.  xD  We all have different ways we waste our time. ;)

The vividness of my dreams is a side effect from my medication.  It hasn't been as helpful for my anxiety lately.  I still have been stressing and nervous a lot, to the point that my face has been breaking out and my eczema has gotten bad again. (I get a kind of eczema that when I get a lot of adrenaline in my system my body will actually push it through the skin - usually on my hands - and it will create a patch of tiny blisters beneath my skin that burst in time causing the top layers of skin to die and peel off.  It's just lovely. -.- )  So, when I visited my psychiatrist yesterday we talked about it and I am going to try a different one.  This makes me very apprehensive because of my bad experiences in the past, but what the hell. lol  I'm already big so might as well make the switch before I lose the weight I gained, just in case. xD  In fact, the one we're trying says there shouldn't be weight gain (it's unusual, anyway) and could even help me lose weight.  I was like, "Myes!!! Thata one!" Hahaha!  So, I will stop taking the one I've been on and start the new one in about 6 days or so.  Then will start the body adjusting to new medicine for 2 weeks. v.v  A time I never enjoy.  But, hopefully after that it will be good.  I've known a few people that have used this medication and it has helped them at different levels.  I think I'll get a haircut, too, and enjoy the changes. ^_^

In other news, Zoe realized if she hooks her claws in the litter mat that catches all the litter they track out of the litterbox, that she can drag it around with her, spreading litter all about the house. >.>  I get to vacuum today then.  Or tomorrow. ;)  It's a good thing she's so cute! :3

Johnny should be able to come home for R&R in a couple of months.  I'm very excited.  It was going to happen later, but it got pushed up.  I think about him all the time.  I've had jobs where my boss could get sued if I messed something up or that I'd get yelled at by someone with real perspective on what's important in life *sarcasm* if I didn't give them enough fries.  I can't imagine having a job where if I mess up lives could be on the line.  A bad day at work is a BAD DAY at work. :(  I admire him so much for being brave enough to have a job like this.  Politics and all that crap aside, it's noble of people to be willing to go through what they do for our country. *folds up soap box and puts it away for another day* ;)  I'm so excited to see him.  It'll only be for 2 weeks, though, so I'm going to be very picky about what plans we make.  Lol!  Only the best of everything for those 2 weeks! >:D

In the meantime, I'm going to catch up on my scrapbooking! *determined*  I'm soooo behind.  And I has movies and such so it will be much fun! ^_^  Also, I might be getting some dinner with Regina tonight and have a Day of Girliness with Jessica this weekend, so much happiness awaits me soon. =D

Yay pesto!

Hi! In a post I made a while back (you can look here), I made a list of extra things about me to share (one at the end of each new post).  And I totally got behind on it. v.v  So, I thought I would pick up where I left off.  =D

I'd gotten up to #12 which asks you to make a recipe you've been intimidated about.  So I made that pesto lasagna I've been thinking about doing for a while.  And it was so easy!  It has a basic pesto with ricotta cheese and plain yogurt added in to make it a little creamier.  Then you cook up some potatoes (I used yukon gold) and green beans and the lasagna noodles.  While it's all hot, you layer pesto, noodles, pesto, potatoes and green beans, noodles, pesto, etc and top it off with some parmigiano reggiano. Then you simply cut and serve.  It's an oven-free lasagna recipe. ^_^  I love it!  It was so yummy and so perfect for the hot summer.  Here is a picture (not the best picture I could have taken, but I was hungry hahaha!):

I didn't have tons of basil or I would have made enough pesto to put a little on top so it looked a little more pretty.  There's always next time. :)

Johnny is doing alright in Afghanistan.  He has very limited communication right now, however.  He is able to email once in a while, though, and that gives me my Johnny-fix. ;)  He was able to do more - like go on Facebook - for a time but he won't be able to do that again for a while.  But he is safe and just doing his job every day while he's there. =)

As for me, I am doing well.  I'm cooking sometimes and exercising and keeping the kitties happy (which takes much cuddling, which is a burden I'll have to carry xD ) and just doing my best.  I hang out with Jessica sometimes and Regina sometimes, which is very happy. ^_^  The hurricane just made things stormy at Fort Bragg and I had power and water throughout and I'm so grateful, because there were many without it and still are many without it.  And, hey, now I've got lots of water just in case. Hahaha.

I miss my Johnnybear very much, though.  I wish I could cuddle and cuddle him. He's my one and only and always.

I love this picture of us.  We took it a long time ago, but it makes me so so happy. ^_^

How I'm Doing

Sadly, Hugo passed away yesterday. He had ringworm when he came to us but we didn't realize it until it was obvious. I was giving him his sulfur baths every week and giving him antibiotics and vitamin drops in his water... :( But, in the end, his immune system just wasn't up for it anymore. It was a really bad day. I don't think I'll be able to have another hamster for a long time. I attach too easily. And so do the kitties. They keep looking at his cage trying to find him and meowing for him to come out of his little igloo. It breaks my heart.

I've just been passing my time reading and such. Dishes, laundry, litterboxes, and so on. I've been hanging out with Jessica and her cute family now and then, which helps a lot so that I don't feel alone. And my therapist, Regina, and I went out for Indian food the other night. :) We've become good friends as well as therapist and patient and are careful to keep therapy at the office. :D It had been way too long since I'd had me some good Indian food. I got the fish curry, my favorite, and immersed myself in the fragrant flavors of it. Mmmmm... I'm so going to pick up carryout from them sometime soon! Lol!

Johnny is doing alright out in Afghanistan. He works about 12 hours a day - so he mostly just works, eats, and sleeps - so he has limited time to write to me. I email him at least once a day (usually more hee hee) and he's able to email me once maybe twice a week. I'd post our letters, but they are fairly boring. Hahaha! I tell him about the cats and he tells me that he's doing alright and just tired and hot over there. And then we say how much we miss each other and love each other over and over and that's about it. xD I talk about the cats on here so much that I think y'all would get tired of it real quick if I posted everything they do. Hahaha.

I'm focusing on just getting the house together and trying to exercise every day and keep up on the dishes and laundry and such. I'm also trying to be ready for the possibility of Hurricane Irene coming through North Carolina. Today they think it will just brush the coast, so let's hope that the eastward trend continues and it misses us (and all the other states too!) and we can all be safe. If needed, though, I'll take the cats into my walk-in closet and close the door during the storm so we'll be all together and I can get them ready in carriers (well, carrier and duffel bag cause I can't afford to buy a 2nd cat carrier at this time heh heh) if we need to leave the house for any reason.

I realized I've been slacking on my extra things about me for each post. So I got the ingredients to make a pesto lasagna recipe that's been intimidating me, so hopefully I can get that done tomorrow or Friday and post a pic here for y'all to see. ^_^

I'll let everyone know how the weekend goes - hopefully it will be uneventful.

#8 ^_^

Today my Johnny and I have been married 8 years. I can hardly believe it. It's gone by fast!

I've been missing him a lot, but trying to be strong. He's made it to the base he needs to be on in Afghanistan by now and is doing well. :) I'm so proud of him!

I have made a good friend out here which has helped me SO MUCH! Her name is Jessica and she is very sweet. ^_^ We went to see the movie The Help on Saturday- it was wonderful! - and had dinner with her family (her husband, little girl, and baby boy). I don't feel so isolated now. =)

Saturday my niece, Megan, got married! I am so happy for her! She and her husband, Kevin, are such an adorable couple and I'm so glad that they tied the knot this weekend. =D I miss my family! And, of course, Megan was a gorgeous bride.

They are such a beautiful couple!

Johnny will probably be able to call me today and we'll be able to talk! ^_^ I miss his voice. I'm not going to be sad today. I'm going to celebrate and be happy! I'm going to make a nice dinner and watch something Audrey Hepburn and sigh romantic sighs and cry a few happy tears that I have such a wonderful love. =)

Love you, Johnnybear. :*

Soon

Well, today has been our last day together. Tomorrow afternoon Specialist Johnny will be off.

We've mostly run errands today to make sure that he'll be all ready to go. I keep trying to be strong and not cry until the right time, but the almost-cries I've been holding back hurt my throat. I miss him already. I'm memorizing him... the little crow's feet by his eyes, the feel of his neck as I burrow my face into it when we hug, the sound of his voice... He's my sweetheart.

"I need you more than anything in my life. I want you more than anything in my life. I'll miss you more than anyone in my life. I love you more than anyone in my life."

Wonderful. :)

I was being so hard and tough today. I had walls up. I wasn't going to be whiny on my blog about there only being a week left before John leaves. I was going to write about being all strong and stuff. And then Johnny got the mail. My little brudder had sent me a package. John's family had nicknamed him Tigger a long time ago and I've called him Tigger a lot over the years. I gave him a Tigger keychain a long time ago that he's kept in his little box of treasures. And today my brudder sent me a big fluffy Tigger for me to hug while John is away. And now I'm all melted. Hahaha. I went from Tiney the warrior to Tiney-puddle squeezing an orange fluffy. xD I'm really glad because I really didn't want to be hard and strong today. Sometimes being "strong" hurts more than letting yourself be weak. Thank you, Bunny. Thank you so so much. :')

And in even more of happy news: Private First Class Johnny has been promoted to Specialist Johnny! =D I'm so proud of him! He's worked hard and I'm glad that his superiors chose to recognize that. ^_^ I got to be up there and hug him during the ceremony.

As for me, I'm looking forward to actually decorating this time while John's away. I also am applying at a couple of places for a job. I've gotten so I can transfer back to a sort of 1-player mode of life. Hahaha. I love that I explain my life using video game terminology. xD Miles has gotten good at switching modes, as well. Zoe is so chronically happy that I'm not too worried about her. Lol. She'll keep running around being chipper and jumping on Miles when he's not looking. Hahaha! And I'll take good care of Hugo, as well, so he doesn't feel forgotten and lonely without Papa John. (Bahahahaha! I never thought to call him that before! Excellent!)

So, yeah, we're doing alright. ;)

"The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things!"

Happy Papa's Day!

I miss my papa so much! I miss just being home with my family. I miss spending holidays at their house. I miss family dinners. I miss all my nieces and nephews and hugging them tight. Thinking of how much I love my nieces and nephews is what made me realize how much I really do want to be a mom. And how excited I am for that.

I understand now that much of why we didn't get along sometimes was because we are the same. xD For example: my dad likes his books lined up along the spines so they are all matched up with each other. But I felt like all the books should be pushed all the way back. So I'd go to his bookshelf and "fix" his books for him. And then next time I was by the shelf I'd see them back the way they were. Hahaha! We are the same in the different ways. He probably wondered who kept messing up his books! I also used to try to eat really spicy food cause my dad is tough and can take the heat of spicy foods. I discovered we aren't alike in that way cause I can't take the heat! xD I tried so hard, though. Hahaha. We also both love Jane Austen! That makes me so happy. And we both love Wind in the Willows and Ivanhoe. He's taught me a lot! And he is always there when I need him. I want to be a parent like that. :)

This is my favorite picture of my dad and me. =) I was an adorable baby. ;)

Then there is my pop-in-law! He is such a sweet man. The first time I met him he had a big beard and was a little intimidating-looking. But he was wearing a teddy bear earring and I told him I liked it. :) He's always been so accepting of me and easily broke past my shy walls and made friends. He is very jovial like Johnny. =D He took me for a motorcycle ride once when we were all assembled at John's brother Jim's house for a get-together. It felt like flying! I'm really glad that he and John have become so much closer in the past few years. Whenever they talk on the phone, John is so happy and calm afterward like he feels at peace. :) We also have received help from him when we were in a jam and for that I will be forever grateful because we really needed it. I hope we do get to go visit him in New Mexico someday because I think it would be really wonderful.

Baby John and Papa! =D So sweet. ^_^

And, of course, Johnny-bear. He's a good kitty and hamstah daddy. =) He has high expectations of our furries and they do their best to be good little critters for him. ;) When they hear his key in the door, Miles and Zoe bolt for the door and begin rolling around on the carpet to be properly cute and to lure Daddy into immediate cuddles. xD And he's a sucker for it every time! I love it! I know when we have kids that John will be an amazing father. I'm very excited for that.

Johnny and baby Miles. xD Sooooo cute! =D

I hope everyone's had a wonderful day. =)