Grateful List

Well, yesterday I slept 14 hours and woke up at midnight. -.- That does not work for me. Gah! I've tried Ambien and Benadryl (not together! 0.0 That would be bad... xD ) so far to help me fall asleep at NIGHT TIME. I've tried going to bed earlier, staying up a lot lot later.... nothing is working. Gotta love side effects. Feeling sick doesn't help the sleeping problem, either, but whattaya gonna do? As I am not a vampire (sorry to disappoint), I like to be awake in the daytime and I will not rest (well... you know what I mean) until I am awake when there is sun and asleep when there are stars. Hilariously, John has been scheduled for two weeks of the night shift, starting today, which is going to be a challenge, but I am up for it... I hope. xD
I've been thinking a lot about what I'm grateful for lately. (Staying positive is more powerful than a lot of people think.) So I thought I'd make a little list.

~Employment. We haven't always had it, and I'm so glad John has a rewarding career now.
~I finally live somewhere where all the outlets work! This is monumental for me.
~We have a sweet little Zoe-girl that comes and rubs my legs as I do my cool-down from exercising, which makes me so happy.
~Cell phones and internet to stay in touch with family.
~Our health care is just taken care of now, which is such a relief. I can go to therapy now. What a blessing to me that is.

~My relationship with John. In the army, relationships are hard. With so much time apart, a lot of cheating happens and another friend of ours was recently crushed to find out about it in his relationship. John went over late/early to be there for him and talk and he told John how lucky we are to have the relationship we do. It's true. In a life full of unfinished things, failures, and mistakes, at least I did this one thing right. I found the right guy and we learned how to love each other. Of course we've had some rocky times. But, that's what makes it strong. And I'm so grateful for that.
~Cadbury eggs. Nothing is as nummy as a cadbury. It's just fact. Beautiful fact. And the wonderful cadbury season has begun. ^.^
~I'm grateful that I haven't given up yet. I'm across the country from everyone I had ever met in my life, I've gained 45 lbs in 10 months, I apparently am nocturnal now, I need medication to help me find balance which is the hardest pill to swallow... I've really wanted to give up and accept it. But, I'm still trying. I worked out today and it wasn't as hard. I might sleep at a better time tonight. I'll be driving more this month so that I am more confident about my capability while John is gone all of next month. I still have kept all my skinnier clothes and only bought a few bigger items of clothing, believing that I can lose this weight. I'm grateful that I have this indomitable spirit and I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept this from myself. In 5th grade I was a brat and sarcastically thanked a group of kids for including me (when they weren't). And this girl turned to me and accusingly asked me why I didn't include myself. That impacted me a lot and since then I've tried to take more responsibility for the way my world is. And if I give up... no one can pick things up for me. Not even John. Not even whichever God you believe in. You have to choose success; nothing else can choose for you. J.K. Rowling said that failure helped her in life. That she hit rock bottom and used rock bottom as her foundation to build on. And look at her now. I can do that and I will. (Not necessarily the billionaire part, mind you. Just the building part. xD )
So, anyway, I have a lot to be grateful for. Much furriness and a sweet Johnniness. =) I'll keep y'all updated on how the building is going. ;)

Extra Thing #3 - What is something you miss?
I miss people more than anything else. I miss my friends and family. I miss our cute gay waiter at Village Inn. I miss our friends at Jaxies. Nothing replaces people. You will always miss them cause every person is different. That is why they are so precious.