John will be home next Saturday. He'll be here for 13 days. By the time he gets here it will have been 110 days since I last saw him. I talked to him 5 times during the 9 weeks he was in Basic. I stay up until 1 am and talk to him until around 2 am every night because of his night classes. Then I wake up at six or seven the next morning and go to school. I cry myself to sleep many nights. I sleep on the couch a lot because it's easier. I've sucked in school this semester because I just can't focus without him. We've been really excited because for the first time since our first year of marriage neither of us will have work or school going. We would actually have time to be together. Like a second honeymoon. Here's the problem: 8 of those thirteen days are already claimed to spend with everyone. I know that everyone misses him and that everyone only wants to see him for one day. And I know it's Christmas. But, it's our only time together since September 1st. And it's my only break from school until May (my school got rid of Spring Break). John graduates the first week in February, so it won't be too much longer until he's done. We'll try to see people and it's not that we don't want to. But, we need this time together. It's like I can't breathe. I've hated these past months, to be honest. It's been the hardest time of my life. And I've been alone for most of it. Trying to do homework I don't understand and crying into my carpet because this is so heavy. So, if we don't see everyone we hoped to or for as long as had been hoped for, please don't be angry with us. Because all we want to do is hold each other and never let go. We'll try. That's all I can promise for now.
4 comments:
Wisp - Well, good. I'm glad he's finally coming home. Sounds like your life will settle down for a few days anyway. I sent you both something for the holidays but because I wasn't sure of your new address. Enjoy. By the way honey, he's in the military. Better get used to being alone - focus on school. Treasure the time you have together. Love ya both... dad
Sorry, forgot to tell you where - the package will be at Jim's (sheepish look)... dad
Hooray!!! He is coming home. I am happy for you honey. I know it is rough to be on your own. I have done it everyday for almost 7 years. Maybe its a way to challenge yourself to reach out to others you could lean on, not just John :) Know that we are always here, we love you.~your family(twin)
Thanks, you guys. I just feel like Bilbo in Lord of the Rings, "like butter spread over too much bread." I need a Johnny recharge. It will be like standing in the sun after a long hibernation. I'll drink it in. :) I've really appreciated you guys being there for me, too. Thanks so much. I'll be talking to you soon!
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