Still rising.

I've had 6 days off and the new semester begins tomorrow. It doesn't feel like quite long enough of a break, but I'm happy to have had one. I'll admit that I am terrified to be taking Calc. 2 during a summer semester, but I'm going to give it my all. The main perk about it will be that I can focus solely on it, having only one class. And it will be over very soon, for better or worse.
The army finally paid Johnny and me on Friday, so we are very relieved to be able to pay our bills and our rent. We want to get some of the things on our list of needs taken care of, but we want to keep a lot in savings. We will hopefully be able to scrape by between John's job as a youth mentor and his monthly National Guard weekends, but I want to have some padding in case we can't.
I still haven't decided what exactly to do about my hair, but I'm leaning toward a lighter shade of brown. That's all I've been able to decide so far. I want to give my look a lift. I always thought it would be fun to have a sort of sun-kissed look for the summer. :)
It always surprises me how life can just keep moving. Even when it feels like the world is ending and there's no hope, somehow things keep taking step after step through time and suddenly it's yesterday and a memory of pain once felt, fear once endured, shakes that have stilled when you weren't thinking about it. It seems like we're actually going to make it a little longer. When John and I got engaged, he looked at me with teary eyes and told me, "You don't know what you're in for. It's going to be a hard life, but we'll be together." He was right. It has been hard. But, he always helps me through it. While he was gone it felt like I was splintering inside, but he would still call me at 1 a.m. every night and I'd snatch up the phone and he'd be there with me, healing me. (I hope I helped him a little, too.) So, though it's a hard life, it's a good life. We have these happy cozy moments; we give each other songs; we slow dance with our faces buried in each other's necks... Like David Zindell says, "Pain is the awareness of life." It surprises you how much you can take when it comes down to it. I'm so glad we didn't give up. Things are okay, like my boy promised they would be.
Here's to you, Johnny. You told me so. ;)