Truly Tested

Well, I'm done with the tests. (For now.) I did pretty well on my Paleontology test - which is the most important. It was a hard test. I had to draw and label a lot of things and so on. I felt better about the math test this time - I won't know for at least a week, though. And... I bombed my Chemistry test. Not in the annoying "I got 89%, I'm so mad" way in the "I actually failed this test" way. I think a lot of people have had the same experience, though. It was my third test in 3 days and I was burnt out, but it was still hard for me to accept. It made me question everything. Whether I should even be wasting time and money on college after all. But, my TA told me that's why they have 4 tests - so if you bomb one you can recover somewhat. And we still need to see the curve. But, I went to a meeting today for Women in Science and I felt so much better! It was a room of science women who all had experienced much of what I've been experiencing. They reassured me that I can be a good mother at the same time and just to do what feels right for me. And they want to help me succeed. There's a sponsor the National Science Foundation does which, if I am accepted, as a graduate student would send me to Japan to familiarize myself with their science programs and so on. JAPAN! *happy sigh* I've learned from this to believe in myself whether I fail or not. Who cares? I know me and I know I'm smart and that I can do this. (Even if I have to do it twice.) I've also realized some more how passionate I am about geology. It's not just my major, it's me. I want this and I know I can work harder for it. (And: JAPAN!)
So, I'm sorry I dropped off the edge for the tests again. But, hey, I'm stronger and weaker than I thought. *crooked smile* I also learned that I need to choose my geology path soon - volcanos or dinosaurs or petrology or what. I always want to go into what I'm studying at the moment. This week we get to put some limestone in a rock crusher then dissolve it in acid to get some tiny little fossils called conodonts (and we might get to keep them!). Hell if I am scared of failure and terrified of success -- in the meantime I've got my fossils and all is right in the world. Well, almost -- minus one Johnny. *wink* Give me John and crinoids and we will have a friggin' PARTY!