I have begun running. I'm not good at it. I look like an absolute moron bouncing around the park, but I'm running anyway. My husband is trying to get in more PT (physical training - the army uses acronyms for all things, by the way) hours so he'll be ready for basic training. But, when he gets home from work it's hard for him to keep his motivation up. So the past couple of nights at 9 pm we've gone together. It's easier to exercise with someone else.
I don't really enjoy exercising, but it feels good. I like feeling my workout get easier the next time and the next time. And I like feeling my body change a little bit over time to become stronger and healthier. I used to accept that I just wasn't fit. I'd watch scary movies and think, "If that guy comes after me I am so screwed. I'd make it down the block and then ask him to kill me to stop the burning in my lungs." However, now I think I'd make it a little further. (Or because I've had a little training now, I could stop and turn around and book it at him to do some serious melee damage. ... That's right.) One form of exercise I do love is weightlifting. It feels awesome to me. A lot of this change has come about because of some surgeries I had recentishly. I was born with bone spurs in my shoulders that had basically been boring into the tendon my entire life. So, they went in and removed bone and muscle (two separate times). After a couple of days of pain and throwing up (I don't handle being put under very well) I went to the physical therapist. I'd been working with him before my surgery also. He asked me to lift my arm up above my head as far as I could. And I couldn't. I didn't even make it to nose-level. I had thought I'd already reached my all-time humility point before (when your husband has to pull your pants up for you, you just don't have the same finesse you used to) but I finally realized how weak I was going to be. Even now, 2 years later, I can't do one push-up. I have to do wall push-ups which are not as cool. So, now I'm trying to rebuild the muscle I lost and reinvent my body to be able to do whatever I need to do. I grew up my whole life feeling broken. I wasn't allowed to do a lot because of my shoulders or whatever else could be wrong. Now I'm carrying the groceries without pain and loving it. I'm free now. And I don't want my face to turn red walking across the mall parking lot. I've been given the chance to redefine my life and live it without anyone else's voice in my head telling me I can't. Therefore: I run like a dork at the park hoping some day I'll lap Johnny instead of the other way around. Or at least match him. Or at least still be able to tell which person is him way over there. Don't say I don't have goals!
And now I issue a challenge: let's move more. We only get the one body. And I intend mine to be smokin'.
I don't really enjoy exercising, but it feels good. I like feeling my workout get easier the next time and the next time. And I like feeling my body change a little bit over time to become stronger and healthier. I used to accept that I just wasn't fit. I'd watch scary movies and think, "If that guy comes after me I am so screwed. I'd make it down the block and then ask him to kill me to stop the burning in my lungs." However, now I think I'd make it a little further. (Or because I've had a little training now, I could stop and turn around and book it at him to do some serious melee damage. ... That's right.) One form of exercise I do love is weightlifting. It feels awesome to me. A lot of this change has come about because of some surgeries I had recentishly. I was born with bone spurs in my shoulders that had basically been boring into the tendon my entire life. So, they went in and removed bone and muscle (two separate times). After a couple of days of pain and throwing up (I don't handle being put under very well) I went to the physical therapist. I'd been working with him before my surgery also. He asked me to lift my arm up above my head as far as I could. And I couldn't. I didn't even make it to nose-level. I had thought I'd already reached my all-time humility point before (when your husband has to pull your pants up for you, you just don't have the same finesse you used to) but I finally realized how weak I was going to be. Even now, 2 years later, I can't do one push-up. I have to do wall push-ups which are not as cool. So, now I'm trying to rebuild the muscle I lost and reinvent my body to be able to do whatever I need to do. I grew up my whole life feeling broken. I wasn't allowed to do a lot because of my shoulders or whatever else could be wrong. Now I'm carrying the groceries without pain and loving it. I'm free now. And I don't want my face to turn red walking across the mall parking lot. I've been given the chance to redefine my life and live it without anyone else's voice in my head telling me I can't. Therefore: I run like a dork at the park hoping some day I'll lap Johnny instead of the other way around. Or at least match him. Or at least still be able to tell which person is him way over there. Don't say I don't have goals!
And now I issue a challenge: let's move more. We only get the one body. And I intend mine to be smokin'.


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