Today is July 24th. 9 years ago my Johnny and I began to fall in love. I tell the whole story in an earlier post. (Go to older posts and look for the picture of people kissing.) So, I won't tell the whole story again. I just want to say how happy I am that I fell for that strange, charming boy so long ago. I never get tired of him, you know. I never stop melting when I look in his eyes. I never get tired of his voice -- I'm addicted to it. Our fingers touching is still the center of the universe. I still can get swept away with one kiss. He still gives THE BEST hugs. I've seen him come from that boy to being the best driver they've got at his job, one of the best soldiers in his unit-thing (I don't know all the words!), and the best husband I could have hoped for. He's my hero; I wish I were more like him. I didn't think my soul could contain this much love. I overflow. I'm lost in it. So, this is my tribute to him.
I wrote this cheesy little poem for him when we were apart. We lost touch for about a year while he was serving a mission for our religion. We'd just gotten back in touch and I was taking a creative writing class in college. You should know my Johnny has gold eyes (rimmed with a mist of green) or this won't make as much sense. (Don't judge it too harshly. I was like 19.)
I wrote this cheesy little poem for him when we were apart. We lost touch for about a year while he was serving a mission for our religion. We'd just gotten back in touch and I was taking a creative writing class in college. You should know my Johnny has gold eyes (rimmed with a mist of green) or this won't make as much sense. (Don't judge it too harshly. I was like 19.)
Golden
Those spheres of wisdom
look through my shell
encasing me in tenderness.
You hold me in your eyes
of glimmering gold and
firelight,
soothing my tremors of fear.
When I study these seers
I realize the fire is no
reflection,
but that your soul is
a quintessence of light
whose warmth escapes through
the expressive stars of your face.
And, through this illuminating pair,
I've found myself fulfilled,
bathing in the radiance
that glows tremendously from your eyes.
I find purity in them,
as mine well with tears
in their sight.
Those spheres of wisdom
look through my shell
encasing me in tenderness.
You hold me in your eyes
of glimmering gold and
firelight,
soothing my tremors of fear.
When I study these seers
I realize the fire is no
reflection,
but that your soul is
a quintessence of light
whose warmth escapes through
the expressive stars of your face.
And, through this illuminating pair,
I've found myself fulfilled,
bathing in the radiance
that glows tremendously from your eyes.
I find purity in them,
as mine well with tears
in their sight.
*awkward silence*
Moving on.
This poem's first, third, and fourth stanzas are read in the movie Patch Adams, that we saw on our first date about 10 years ago, when we both had crushes on each other but didn't say anything. We were watching the same movie with a group of friends when he proposed. He hid the ring in a plastic bubble in a box of cracker jacks. Just like Spiderman proposed to Mary Jane in the comic. When I found the "prize" and pulled it out, they stopped the movie and John was on his knee in front of me. He promised to make me happy. He told me he loved me. It's all a little misty now. I mostly remember we were both crying and I squeaked out a little "yes." I really don't deserve him, you know.
Moving on.
This poem's first, third, and fourth stanzas are read in the movie Patch Adams, that we saw on our first date about 10 years ago, when we both had crushes on each other but didn't say anything. We were watching the same movie with a group of friends when he proposed. He hid the ring in a plastic bubble in a box of cracker jacks. Just like Spiderman proposed to Mary Jane in the comic. When I found the "prize" and pulled it out, they stopped the movie and John was on his knee in front of me. He promised to make me happy. He told me he loved me. It's all a little misty now. I mostly remember we were both crying and I squeaked out a little "yes." I really don't deserve him, you know.
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
--Pablo Neruda
I am so happy I said yes that day. And he has made me very happy. I can only hope that I've made him as happy. I'll never stop trying. I'll draw my last breath loving him with the core of my being. Now that I've shared our love verses of yesterday, I want to give him a new poem to read to each other in years to come.
I am so happy I said yes that day. And he has made me very happy. I can only hope that I've made him as happy. I'll never stop trying. I'll draw my last breath loving him with the core of my being. Now that I've shared our love verses of yesterday, I want to give him a new poem to read to each other in years to come.
Love arrives;
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet, if we are bold
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity.
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave.
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet, it is only love
which sets us free.
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet, if we are bold
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity.
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave.
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet, it is only love
which sets us free.
-Maya Angelou
Thank you for loving me, Johnny.
Thank you for loving me, Johnny.
2 comments:
Very romantic. Were you guys able to attend any of the festivities yesterday and relive the moment?
No, John had to work. We went out to dinner, though, and bought each other a little present each. It was really a nice night. I'm trying to make everything as special as I can until he leaves. :)
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