Why the crap is it still June? D:

I think because I wrote about how June has been going by fast it suddenly slowed down a ton. o.o  I think it's just because I'm SO excited for July to get here.  Because, if things go according to schedule *crosses fingers* then Johnny should be coming home at the end of July. =D  It just feels impossibly far away.  We talk about it constantly. :)  We look forward to just hanging out together.  Chilling, eating some good food, watching a movie, going for a walk.  Simple stuff.  We have a few favorite restaurants around here that we are excited to go to again together.  Most of them I haven't been to since the last time we went together.  Thinking about it makes tears well up, so time for a new paragraph. Lol.
This week poor Miley's back became inflamed where we've been putting so many needles lately.  He got a few sores and one of them started to bleed some. :(  So, the blood made me panic a little bit and I took him in yesterday (a couple of days early) to have it looked at by the vet.  They shaved the area so we could see what we're dealing with and so the fur won't get in the way of treatment.  It didn't bleed at the vet and it hadn't become infected so we put some Neosporin on it and they didn't even charge me for coming in.  We did decide to take a break from his subcutaneous fluids for a little while to give his scruff a chance to heal and just have some time off.  We go back in the morning to have his blood drawn and have a look at the blood count again.  Thankfully they draw from his leg, so he should be fine for that. :)

You can sort of see the shaved area in this picture.  He'd only hold still to eat. xD  Poor boy.  But he's still being a sweetheart about everything.  He took a nap cuddled down on my lap today. :)  I have been organizing some of our pictures and it made me so sentimental about my Johnny and kitties.

Such big beautiful eyes. :3
I watched a really cool anime the past couple of weeks. :)  It made an impression on me because there is a young man named Simon who has trouble believing in himself.  His friend, Kamina, is older and very confident.  And Kamina tells Simon, "Don't believe in yourself.  Believe in the me that believes in you."  And then later on as Simon becomes more confident, Kamina tells him to "believe in the you that believes in yourself."  It bolstered me up. :)  And now when one of us is feeling intimidated by life, we tell the other to "believe in the John that I believe in" and vice verse and it helps us make it through. :)

It makes me happy that even though we're a world apart we can keep each other strong.  So many people say that long distance relationships can't work.  They can.  You just have to love each other enough. =)

June is almost over. :)

This month has felt both fast and slow at the same time.  But I'm glad that we're getting toward the end of it.  I'm very excited for Johnny to be home soon.  It feels like a thousand years since I've seen him.  A lot of people told me that the time would go fast.  It didn't.  It just felt like the time for him to come back would never come and it's feeling great that it's almost here.

  Zoe hanging out in the cubes.  I love when they rest their little chins on the doorways. :3  It's so cute!!!
Miles is still doing better.  His blood count has actually gotten a little high, even though we lowered the frequency and dosage of the shots.  So, we're doing them even less frequently now.  The shots are the most expensive thing, so I don't mind that his blood count is doing so well. ;)  The papers one of the technicians gave me said to administer the fluids by Miles's shoulders, however, and it was becoming a nightmare.  It hurt him so much and he was getting less cooperative every day.  Hissing, biting me, running off the needle.  He bled once cause the needle nicked a blood vessel or something and he's been limping all week.  So, I talked to my vet and he said that he always says not to give the fluids by any joints because it's less likely you can damage anything that way. :[  So, now I only give him fluids at the scruff of the neck and he's being more cooperative and his limp is getting better.  I felt awful about it.  I thought I was doing it correctly.  I'm just glad that the limp is going away.  While we waited for the results of his blood test today he kept kissing my chin and giving me soft little love bites.  I think he knows that I'm trying to help him get better.  So, even though I torture him with icky medicines and ouchie needles all the time, he still is sweet and loving.  That helps a lot.

Miles is watching T.V. here with his treasured catnip sockie. Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.  I think he likes Guy Fieri. Lol. :)
I've been watching Foyle's War lately.  I'd seen some of the early episodes but I hadn't seen all of the series so I've been Netflixing them.  I really like Michael Kitchen's acting.  I like the way he talks.  And he never overacts.  It helps me feel less alone watching about World War II and how difficult it was then. 

No one socializes much here.  And the few people I knew have all moved away.  So, I can understand why so many don't bother to make friends.  I'm still going to try, though.  I can meet lots of people all over the place.  We probably won't be staying here as long as we thought.  When John signed on for another 5 years and we got to stay here, I thought that meant for the whole 5 years, but it only means for the first year.  So, next year it looks like we'll be moving on to Fort Campbell, Kentucky.  That will be exciting to live in a new place.  A little scary, too, not knowing if our next living quarters will be nice or what the base will be like.  But, that's part of moving.  We'll be together, so that's all that matters to me. :)

Improvement :D

Life has been on quite a set schedule for us lately.  We've had to add a couple of other medications.  So we get up around 5:00-5:30 for their breakfast and then I sleep again until 9:30 when we do his clavimox (antibiotic).  I've had to stagger when we do the medicines because he was vomiting a lot from gagging and straining against taking them. :S  So, then at 10:30 we do the alternagel (phosphate binder) - this is the one he has the hardest time with - and the TumilK gel (potassium supplment).  Then at 11:30 I give him some pet tinic drops (iron and vitamin supplement) so he doesn't get anemic.  If he were to get anemic the blood flow would focus on the vital organs and be less strong throughout the rest of him so we need to make sure to keep his iron level up and check his color (at his gums and eyes) regularly.  These drops need to be with food so right afterward I feed him - first the kidney formula wet food and then tuna (getting him to eat is important because when I found out he was sick he was barely eating at all and his bowels hadn't been functioning for a while and we had to give him an enema to help him get things moving again).  And I make sure he has plenty of water.  Then at 12:30 I give him his famotidine pill to help soothe his gastrointestinal system so he doesn't develop ulcers due to the change in acidity inside him because of the kidney problems.  At 2 p.m. we do 100cc's of his subcutaneous fluids.  It's getting more difficult because since we do it every day he's sore all over his shoulders from being poked with needles and is getting more angry about it each time. :S  But I still manage to out-stubborn him and have him sit there with the needle in for the several minutes it takes for the fluids to pass through the tubing and into his system.  Then he eats again.
Then I am freeeeee! =D  I usually eat first thing because I often don't eat anything or just get in a granola bar during the medicine times.  If he vomits - which he frequently does - it causes me to feel pretty nauseated (well, he eats tuna... 'nough said) and I have to clean it up.  I also get really nervous to do the fluids every time still and food settles better if I just wait until afterward.  So then I have time to do laundry and dishes - which I am forever trying to get caught up with mainly because of all the towels I go through wiping off Miles after medicine - they cause him to foam at the mouth a little and drool a lot due to the bitter taste - and the towels I lay down on the floor to try to catch the splatter of meds if he shakes his head - my bathroom is speckled. x.x  So, I usually eat and do some chores and grocery shopping and litterbox cleaning (daily since he urinates so much more now).  He eats again in the evening and then I do again, too.  And then the medicines all happen again starting at 9:30, since most of them need to be given every 12 hours.  And he eats after his iron drops at 11:30 and I stay awake - often I call my mom and chat since it's earlier for her - until I give him his pill at 12:30 and then I can go to sleep so I can get a few hours in before he wakes me up for his breakfast.  It's a little like having an infant. xD  ... That you stick with needles. :|
We added some hairball medicine once or twice a week to help reduce the vomiting.  We've also started doing shots of epogen to help his red blood cell count.  It had been down to 22 which is getting low so we gave him .22.  But then a few days later when we went back to the vet, his level had dropped to 19. D:  This was upsetting.  So we figured out a dosage to be administered 3 times a week so I gave him the shots 3 times a week for about a week and a half.  Then when we checked, his blood count had gone up to 40! =D  He was back in the normal range!  So we did the same dosage 2 times a week.  And his blood count has stayed at 40!  Also, his weight has increased to 9 lb. 15 oz. (he was at 8 lb. 4 oz. - down from 12 lb. 4 oz. - when I first took him in).  So now we are going to do .17 on Sunday morning and Wednesday evening and see how that goes. =)  2 of the vets I've been working with both met with me together yesterday to let me know how happy this is.  With the kind of numbers he was at when I first brought him in and to get to these numbers is really great and that I'm a very good nurse. =D  Yay!  So this week I did his epogen shot yesterday evening and keep administering his other medicines and the fluids and do his next shot on Sunday morning and I just will call the vet on Monday to let them know how he's doing. :D  I expect we'll go in to draw blood for a blood count on Wednesday.
This is all probably very uninteresting to everyone. Lol.  But, it's been my life for the last 5 weeks or so.  He was almost to kidney failure so that eclipsed anything else in my world.  I stopped going to see my therapist temporarily because it interfered with the medication schedule and also because I'm freaking exhausted. xD  The vet is pretty far away and I have to go on the roads with the heaviest traffic to get there so on the days I don't go to the vet or to the store I want to stay home.  I'd only talk about Miles in therapy and worry about him while I was there, anyway, so might as well postpone it for now.  I'm so glad he's doing better.  I thought I was losing him.  Every cuddle I was afraid was our last.  If he was sleeping I worried if I touched him he'd have stiffened in death.  He's been such a good boy letting me take care of him this way.  If he really hadn't wanted to allow the medications and needles he could have freaked out enough to make it impossible.  But, he knew I was trying to help him so he lets me (with some small hissing and grumble growling lol).  We'll still need to continue treatment and keep tracking everything - and I won't even tell you how much all of it has been costing x.x - but I'm really happy and feeling so optimistic about our boy. =)

Keeping On

I saw this when I got to the top of the stairs today. xD  Then a moment later, I saw this:

I think Miles is starting to feel a little better. ;)
We've been to the vet three times this week.  When we went on Monday, his red blood cell count was even lower than before, so he's going to need shots three times a week for a while.  I was a little shaky on Wednesday so the vet did the shot that day and today I was able to do it by myself under observation.  So, Monday I'll be doing the shot on my own at home.  I'm only a little nervous.  I'm starting to get used to using needles.  That makes me sound like a druggie. xD  I'm just glad that he is doing some better.  He and Zoe are resting now. :)

I've become addicted to The Big Bang Theory lately.  It helps keep my tension down. (I get really nervous before I do the subcutaneous fluids, so watching something funny helps me stay more relaxed, hence keeping Miles more relaxed.)  I love watching a smart show.  Especially when I understand stuff. Lol.  It also makes me feel cozy. :3

Also, they have a lot of cool guests!  Neil deGrasse Tyson, LeVar Burton, George Takei, Stan Lee, and Stephen Hawking. =D  I revel in my nerd status. xD
Only a couple of months until Johnny will be home. =)  I'm just going to keep doing my best to keep Miles going and to keep myself going until then. :)

Doing a little better. :)

We've been to the vet two days in a row this week.  Happily, Miles's creatinine level went from 11 to 7.4.  We need it to get down to 2.5, though, so we still have a long way to go.  His potassium level is back up to normal, also, so giving him the potassium gel has been helping.  However, his red blood cell count is getting low, which is to be expected.  So we went back to the vet again yesterday for a shot to help the red blood cell count and a shot of B12 to help his metabolism and appetite.  So every 12 hours we're still doing antibiotics, a phosphate binder (to help so no more phosphate will build up in his kidneys), and the potassium gel supplement.  Then we wait two hours and I give him a pill that should help his gastrointestinal system so it doesn't become too acidic and cause ulcers and also to help him with nausea.  And once each afternoon we do the subcutaneous fluids (an iv is intravenous but for this we just put the needle under the skin - I'm starting to learn the words! xD ) to keep him hydrated.  He hasn't had much of an appetite for his regular dry food so he's on a diet of a canned kidney formula food and tuna (because he'll eat tuna and we need him to eat) and therefore so is Zoe because she HAS to do everything Miles does and it causes too much uproar trying to separate them for meals. x.x  Miles has gained a few ounces of weight back and his appetite is doing better. :)  Zoe, I think, has gained a little weight, too. xD  It's cute.

I found him like this, hiding in a blanket I had folded up and set on the bed while I was folding up my load of laundry and he couldn't resist the warm blankey. xD
The vet did warn me that if Miles becomes at all lethargic to bring him in right away. o.o  I'm doing my best to be a good nurse for him.  Because of the every 12 hours situation and the times getting messed up from appointments I feed him at 8:30, give him meds at 10, and his pill at 12 in the morning and at night.  I usually wake up around 5:30 or 6 to give him a drink though because he needs to drink a lot.  (This makes cleaning the litterbox super fun.  xD  If I miss a day it's awful. x.x)  Scheduling in my meals is tricky because I wait a little while after each little meal (every 2 or 3 hours) to make sure that he doesn't vomit cause if he does and I've started eating I might lose mine, too. lol  So, we are all living on quite an agenda! :3 The cutest thing is that even though Miles gets so mad at me for forcing him to take medicine and for poking him with a needle, as soon as it's over he stops being mad and is cuddly again.  He is such a sweetheart.  I love him so so much.
Zoe is trying to help take care of him, too, which mostly annoys him. xD  But she has started "cleaning up" the bits of tuna that get on the floor by pulling them all into a little pile with her paw.  And they usually nap near each other.  There's a sweater of mine that I allow to be on the floor because Zoe loves to sleep on it so much and Miles threw up on it. v.v  She was sad but just has been sleeping by me more while it has been in the wash.  I wash a lot of blankets, towels, and clothes of mine - all of which get covered in medicine or vomit - so we just threw the sweater in with the next batch.

 Miles has been more active and wanting to get up in the window (he does need a boost up though, lol) and he and Zoe love hanging out and looking outside together. =)  Whenever they play it makes me really happy cause I know he's feeling well.
We've been having some really scary thunderstorms here lately.  I was driving to the vet in one Monday to pick up medicine - thank goodness Miley wasn't with me, cause he is terrified of storms - and it rained so hard I could hardly see.  The thunder woke us up at 4:30 this morning, it was so loud.  O.O  But it's sunny now and both kitties are soaking up the sun by the patio doors. =)

 The days feel like they are going by so slowly but then I'll look at the calendar and realize we're halfway through May already. :D  I am so excited for Johnny to be back soon.

Staying strong.

This has been a really hard week and a half.  Miles seemed to not be feeling well, so I took him to the vet.  He has chronic kidney disease.  His kidneys have become smaller and are round-shaped now.  His body is functioning with only about 1/3 of his kidneys being functional.  The creatinine levels in the blood is high for a cat at a 3.  Miles's level is at 11.  So, it's pretty serious.  He also has a substantial heart murmur.  He lost 2 lbs. (he went from 11.4 to 9.3) in a month.  So, we've been at the vet a lot and now twice a day I give him two liquid medicines, a gel, and a pill.  And once daily I administer fluids under the skin - which is basically hooking him up to an IV at home.  I'm not a fan of needles, so it's a difficult thing for me to do.  But, love is a great creator of courage.  So, I'm doing my best to take care of him.   I ache inside all the time now because I love him so much and it's so hard to see him sick and not knowing if he will get better.  I've had people make fun of me about him in the past.  But, he has been like a child to me.  And I don't care if the comparison bothers anyone.  If it does, they don't have to talk to me.  He has sat up next to me while I was sick and sleeping all night.  He comes running from anywhere in the house if I sneeze so he can check on me.  He is my adorable sentinel while I am in the shower, sitting on the bath mat protecting me.  He kisses me on the face regularly, he sits by me in the evenings and we watch movies together or I read by him.  He has shown me more love and kindness than most of the people I've known in my life.  And I love him so very much.  The first time I heard him cry as a kitten trapped in that thorny hedge it awakened a mother's instinct in me and I knew I would take care of him for the rest of his life.  I promised him that when we took him in.  And he and Zoe are what keep me going while John is in Afghanistan.  The idea that Miles might not be here when John comes back is agonizing.  I'm going to do all that I can, I will give all of my time, I will give all of my money, everything to take care of him.  Because that's what you do for someone you love.  I am honored to have shared our home and lives with him.  He's our family.  I'll keep you posted.

Old but New

It's been blissfully rainy here lately. =)  I love that about Spring.  Clouds and rain give such a refreshed feeling.
My finger is healing, but I'll have an ugly fingernail for many moons. Hahaha.  I've had insomnia leftover from the last medication I tried, so I finally gave in and tried melatonin to help me fall asleep earlier.  And it worked. =D  It's so nice to be awake at a normal time today.  It makes such a difference.
Life's been pretty quiet here.  Though not dull.  Life can't be dull when you have this in the same room with you:

She looks like a little turtle!  And she figured out if she runs like that it will stay on her like a little cape for a few seconds so that has become her new favorite thing to do with the gift bag. xD  Miles is usually watching from around the corner of the couch like he thinks she's crazy. :3  It's so cute.
I've heard a lot about Mad Men, so I decided to see what the fuss is about.  And now I'm hooked. :7  The sexism and racism is a little jarring, but realistic.  The fashion makes me feel like getting pretty clothes and wearing accessories. xD  Also, because I grew up watching my mom's movies and listening to her music, I understand most of the references they make to the early 60s in the show.  It's pretty fun. =)

It makes me miss some of the bombshells from that time.  Like Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, Jackie Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, etc.  When I was little I used to watch To Catch a Thief sometimes and just be in awe at how beautiful and sophisticated Grace Kelly was.  And I wished I had her hair. xD

Matchless.
Johnny just signed a new contract for 5 more years, so we should be staying here for the duration of that time. :)  We're settled here and I actually unpacked everything when we moved into this apartment so it's a relief not to have to pack up and move in the near future.  The cats love chasing each other up and down these stairs, too. xD