So, here's the thing...
I think that it might be that I'm just not ready to go back to Utah yet. I think a lot of it is because I'm not a Mormon anymore. And I haven't really told people very much. I understand how they will feel because I used to feel the same way when people I cared about would make the same decision. It's not because of hurt feelings, though the way I'd been treated throughout my life did have its influence on my decision. I battled with the decision for years. There are certain beliefs that I just do not share. I feel like the LDS religion does good for people and am glad that it makes them happy. I just realized a while back that I couldn't be who I am and be Mormon.
And the thought of going back to Utah still is difficult for me. I miss my family and friends very much. But I guess I'm not ready. And that's why I've made excuses to myself that I "can't" go back. When it's honestly just that there's a part of me that doesn't want to go back yet.
I sincerely hope this doesn't hurt anyone. That's not my intention. I just couldn't ignore the elephant in the room anymore, I guess.
4 comments:
You shouldn't have to apologize for believing what you believe and following through with it. It's a hard decision to make. But unfortunately a lot of people don't understand and that's too bad. They however get to live how they want without others telling them they are wrong. If they lived somewhere else they may not feel this way.
Dido to what Maren said. And true friends and family love and respect everyone regardless of their religious, political, family, etc. beliefs. It makes me sad that people are especially judgmental in Utah. I wish that wasn't so, in Utah or anywhere else. Please don't not come back to Utah because of that though :( Brandon and I miss you so. Although when we have money you are the first person we're coming to visit!
I don't think that not being mormon should hold you back. what ever you want to be or who you are is your choice, no one can choose it for you. I think you are ready to come back, i think it is something else that is holding you back. I honestly think that if people truly care about you they won't judge you for not being mormon. you are who you are and if they have a problem with it then that's their problem, not yours. stand up for yourself and don't let others decide for you. i know alot of people who are not LDS in utah.. it's just how you deal with it.
Thank you, Maren, Emily, and Elise. I love you guys. <3
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