Pieces of Me

So, in therapy last night, Regina asked me if I'd ever had medication for ADD. And I realized: I am SO ADD! XD So we discussed some ways for me to focus - like working on 2 or 3 chores a day so I don't get gung-ho and say I'm cleaning and unpacking the whole apartment, stand in the middle and feel overwhelmed, and then watch a show about Chimp attacks on Animal Planet. (...I just pulled that instance out of the air... ok, yeah it happened this week.) Also, creating a specific place for things to go and simplifying everything else. :) So, I'll probably throw out the clothes I never wear because they are so uncomfortable - and maybe give away the cute cute shoes that have drawn so much of my blood. (Maybe. :S They are so cute, though.)

Another realization I had this week that made even more sense to me while talking to Regina is that I need to write more. Becoming a writer was the thing I dreamed of as a kid. I wrote mystery stories around age 11 that were exactly like the Nancy Drew books, but I wrote several chapters of intrigue and loved it. In 8th grade my English teacher asked us to write a short fantasy story. The day before it was due I went in all stressed and told her it was 20 pages long and I wasn't finished yet and could I turn it in anyway. I realize now how thrilled she probably was about that. =D The next year I forced my next English teacher to read it and the next year Mr. Smith - my favorite teacher of all time - read it and we struck a cool deal that I would be able to write historical fiction stories for extra credit. I really did my research, too. :) I did get in trouble when I killed off his favorite character in one of them, though. XD He had me sign them cause he said I'd be a famous author some day.

But, in college people would laugh at my creative writing major. And a lot of the other English majors - not the teaching ones, just to clarify - were really odd. And I met like 5 girls named Arwen in those classes. And a professor made me give an oral presentation about why Whitman wrote about... little Walt... so much. I think that Professor did that JUST because of how painfully shy I was at the time. >:( If I see him again I'd like to smoosh a strawberry on his forehead. I did have one professor - Deb (we were on a first name basis) - loved my writing. My first paper - the run of the mill type I wrote for all other classes that did well - got a C. I was petrified. But, she knew it wasn't MY writing. So, I started writing for her in my style and she gave me A's and A+'s and wrote awesome comments all over them that still can make me cry. Once I was sick and told her I was heading home, but she begged me to stay for the discussion of Sylvia Plath and ... I forget, but another suicidal one (I think Ann Sexton). And these kids started complaining that the poems were sad and dark. So, I told them that I had a brush with suicide and that in that place you feel so alone and anguished and that I found it amazing that they could take those emotions and create something beautiful with it. And the class actually applauded. (I know it sounds like a movie now, but it actually happened.)
But, when I went back to school I started loving science and wanted a career that I could be a breadwinner with, since John's knees were getting bad (and then miraculously healed at Basic Training, making my heroics less necessary). And now I just want to go with my nature and write and cook (eventually... we had ants get into the kitchen and I smeared toothpaste everywhere because they hate mint scent and I HATE ants, so the kitchen it a little... minty fresh) and let myself be who I actually am. Of course, I'll always love Geology - it's a definite part of me - but I'm going to be all of my parts again. :) [Garfield is singing in my head while choosing his Halloween costume: What should I be? There's so many sides to me. I could be an astronaut, a robot, a hobo, a clown, or an alien creature goin' out on the town...(Personally, I endorse the alien in the tux, but he goes with pirate.)] Anyway, I'm a writer again. It's a good thing.