Chin Up

It's been a while.  Sorry about that. :/  So, John went through the Warrior Leadership Course (WLC) and did a wonderful job.  It was hard on us because he was gone a lot and it had its stressful times (as leadership training most likely should) but we made it through and after it ended we were able to take the time to go see the neurologist.  He said that I do have a facial nerve problem.  He could tell by the way I talked that there was something wrong.  He said it might be permanent, it's hard to know with nerves.  It takes time.  So we can see how it does.  I'm going in for a long MRI (they said about an hour and a half in the machine) this week to look at my brain, brain stem, and facial nerve just to take a look.  If they see anything they can do something about, something irregular, I'll need to talk to a neurosurgeon.  However, he doesn't expect to see anything.  The location of the problem is tricky because trying to fix something could end up doing more damage, like paralyzing that side of my face or something.  I'll also need to see an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor (ENT) and possibly get another MRI to have a look at the sinus and see if it has healed or if there is still a problem with the sinus.  I'm back on the medication I was taking before to help with the nerve pain.  I'm going through the side effects again as I go back on it, though.  It makes the anxiety worse and then I get really depressed but last time it started to balance out again and was helping the pain and wasn't causing those problems anymore, so we're confident that soon that will happen again.  Just for now it's mostly taking the edge off of the pain and making me feel sad and that is blah.  But we can hold out. ;)
I've also developed a bone spur at the site of the tooth excavation that causes a bump at the side of my gums.  Most the time it isn't noticeable but recently something irritated it and there was some inflammation, so I went back to the endodontist and he looked at it and let me know what it was.  If it persistently causes a problem for me, he can go in and open up the gums, file it down (the spur is on the main bone of my face/skull since there is no tooth there now), and suture it back up.  So, it's good to know we have that option.  The problem is we don't know if it is hurting because the spur is bothering things or if it hurts because of the nerve problem.  Or maybe the presence of the spur is exacerbating the nerve pain?  I'm not sure at all.  So, we'll see how things go.
Meanwhile, the kitties are doing well.  Patches turned 1 year old last month and we had a little party for her.  They had a special dinner and then we gave her some new toys.  (We also always have a toy for the kitty not having a birthday so they don't feel left out.)  And we sang her "Happy Birthday" and gave her lots of hugs.  Probably more hugs than she wanted. Haha. ;)

They play together and cuddle each other and us (when they feel generous lol) and we are so glad to have them.  Sometimes people laugh or just don't understand.  But the way life is in the army can get lonely.  Especially when John has to be away, whether for trainings or deployments.  And having these sweet little kitties... care about whether I get up in the morning or not... means everything to me.

Patches has also commandeered one of our trash cans as a place to play and nap.  It's a wicker one I usually just put papers and such in because ... well, it's wicker.  And one day she removed the papers and took it over.  I have an extra one, so I use it now and she can use this one to play in (we cleaned it up after taking her photo). It's really funny and cute of her.

This medicine makes things hard right now.  I ran out of it and we couldn't go to the doctor for a new prescription because the schedule for WLC is quite strict so I didn't have it for about a week.  I didn't think such a short time would mean I'd have to get used to it all over again.  But, my body seems to be kind of sensitive that way (meaning it freaks out a lot haha).  But when it gets hardest it means it's about to get better (I've tried enough meds in my time to be able to tell that now).  So, it's going to be alright.  I'll probably need to be on it for a while, maybe need to get a stronger dose if the pain gets harder to manage, but it will be fine.  Over the years I've been learning how to keep being me despite what a medication does to me.  It's really hard though and sometimes it goes better than other times.  But no matter what I'll keep picking myself back up and trying harder.  So my kitties have a happy mama and so my Johnny has a happy wife, so we can keep having a life and making memories and loving each other.  Just cause you get carsick doesn't mean you can't enjoy the drive. lol  I do my best to be strong for them because they are what gives me strength.  Finding out this pain might never go away has been really hard and scary for me.  But Johnny has been so supportive and sweet and helpful.  I'm so tired so much of the time and he is really doing his best to help me with whatever I need.  I know that I'm really lucky to have that in my life. And it makes it easier to keep smiling and to keep going. :)

When things get difficult I remember what Robin Hood said (yes the cartoon fox one, of course), "Keep your chin up." ;)  Going to do my best.  Oo-de-lally!